Do you have a dream for what your life could look like? Are you fantasising about a career worlds away from what you spend your 9-5 doing? Or maybe you have a vision board full of photos of a location you dream of visiting or moving to, but you just haven’t got around to it yet.
I think we all have these unfathomable realities nestled away in the corners of our minds, they’re the ones we access when our regular lives get hard or boring and we allow our thoughts to wander for a moment and think ‘what if?’
Have you ever thought about bringing that dream, whatever it may be, a little bit closer to becoming a reality? If your answer is yes, then well done – you’re a super human! If it’s no, then don’t despair, you’re no different than the majority of us.
In some ways I think it’s healthy for us to have these ‘what ifs’ that we never really go after in our real lives. They allow us to daydream, to use our imagination and to move past the thought that what we have right now is really all we are ever going to have. In short, they give us hope. But, what use is hope if we never even let ourselves consider the possibility that the life we want might actually be the one we deserve to be living.
So, why are those dreams never manifesting into real life? In my experience it’s been for only two reasons.
- Fear of failure
- Fear of success
If we fail, people might mock us, we might lose something important to us, we might never get another chance.
If we succeed, our whole lives could be upended, or perhaps they will stay the same and the success we worked so hard for might actually not be quite as good as we’d imagined – this might be all there is.
Both of these can be boiled down to one thing, fear of uncontrollable change.
I like change. I like moving my furniture around, changing the colour of my hair, changing the clothes I wear. This is change I can control, it’s a change of surroundings yes, but there isn’t a lot of internal change because I know what the outcome will be.
What I don’t do so well with is unexpected change – if someone else makes a decision for me, if I lose something or someone, or if I’m thrown into the deep end without knowing what’s awaiting me at the bottom.
What I’ve learned over the last few months is that so long as you wish to maintain complete control over your own life, you’ll always be holding yourself back from things.
We’re nearly at the end of the year, and although I don’t particularly believe in ‘resolutions’, I think as humans we like to have a solid beginning to something. So, maybe 2020 will be the year that you start the thing that you’ve always wanted to do, or visit the place, or say the things you’ve been holding back for years. I have no doubt that if you’ve made it this far then there is something in the forefront of your mind right now, that’s the change that so desperately wants to be made.
I believe that whatever it is, you should at least give it ago. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
If you feel comfortable, leave some of the things you really want to try down below! I’d love to hear about them.
Chat soon x